I know not many people (if any) read this, but it is a nice way for me to update myself…if that makes sense!
Lily’s birthday passed for another year. I didn’t even say her name aloud that day. Just a quiet rememberance and an ache in my heart. I couldn’t even bring myself to say anything to R. I am sure he thinks I have forgotten, but she still plays on my mind all too often. It has also been a week filled with babies, pregnancy loss and pregnant people.
I know that people aren’t doing it on purpose, but for gods sake why can it not be me? I am eagarly awaiting the birth of my friend’s baby. She’s just been admitted to hospital with pre-eclampisa, so my thoughts are with her and the baby that I want to be born safely! I am so thankful she is letting me share her pregnancy with her. It is just another way of me letting go and I think it has helped. There is always the part of me that longs for another little baby, but it can’t happen.
On a lighter note, I have been so on the ball latley it isn’t funny. I have been taking myself for a walk most mornings- I like to think I feel healther, but I will feel alot better when I have moved this podgy belly of mine! A 30 minute walk is better than nothing I guess.
Uni is going surprisingly well. I finished 2 of my assessments a week before they are due, so I am pretty proud. I feel on top of everything and I am not stressed, unlike this time last year. Matters in the Student Village though. It looks as though I will have an extreely increased work load as Resident Assistant if I stay on next year- which will not allow for a decent amount of time for UNI work- the reason I am here in the first place. So it seems I will be moving out into the ‘real’ world of rental properties and bills in the next year or so…
Nothing is constant; everything changes.
We’ll just have to see where it takes me.
Deepdreamer
