I am scared to try to snap myself out of this…I begin to feel myself crawling out of this hole, into the sunshine, and then I remember you, I fall back down again.

I am trying so hard to snap out of this- I know that’s not how it happens, but I need to get back on top of things- for my angel mummies, for R, and most importantly, for myself.

I am feeling ok today. The main thing is, I am feeling something! I am warily feeling my way out of this…I know Lily would not want her mother to be so unhappy.

So out comes the happy music, a good book, a sleep in and a stress free-ish day… and a big climb out of this horrible hole called depression…