Besides the obvious, I really, R-H-EALLY miss having the house to myself.

We, DF and I, decided that we’d need to have a housemate to help us pay the rent. And in that respect, it’s been fine.

What is not fine, is the fact that housemate NEVER, EVER leaves the house. When housemate DOES, it’s usually when I am not home, and if I come home to a totally empty house, and a few hours of true, real, peace and quiet, I do a happy dance.

I am never home alone to do the things that some days, need to be done.

To be left alone in complete peace to get through the god awful cramps I go through each and every time I get my period.

To have my friends or family over without thinking I am going to disturb housemate.

To be able to have sex- as loudly as I want!

To be able to buy “house stuff” ( furniture, candles, pictures, stuff  etc)  without making me feel like I am telling housemate it’s not their house too…

To have the house left tidy, dishes all done and not left for days, and hair NOT cut and dyed in the bathroom- all over the bathroom.

Most of all, I want to be alone, so that when I need to, I can cry for as long as I want, as loudly as I need to, for my babies. I cannot remember the last time I was able to sit and just let the tears stream down my cheeks, without worrying that I will be found.

Some days, I just want to be completely alone, not listening for housemate to emerge from their room.

It will happen, but not soon enough!