I have been meaning to update and make an entry since October 15th. I plan to do a separate blog post about P&IL Beach Ceremony at a later date. It was beautiful!

More on that later.

God it has been a HELL of  a month or so. Far out. It’s been crazy. I have barely been able to keep up with myself.

It’s been a month of assignment HELL. I’ve had to submit 3 major assessments for uni, so it was an incredibly stressful mad dash to the finishing line last Thursday. By Monday,I had fallen in a heap. Going to bed tired, waking up exhausted.  I have been suffering from constant headaches since the end of October too. It dosen’t matter how much water I drink, or if I have a nap, or get a decent night’s sleep, they still hang around.

GO AWAY- I don’t want you.

So the only solution has been to down painkillers every day of last week. I have a feeling it may have something to do with the way I sleep, or the amount of stress I have been under, but DAMN IT!!! I don’t want to be necking bloody headache tablets every day just so I don’t go crazy. 3 weeks is a bit much, I think. I am debating about seeing if they’ll go away on their own, or if I should see a doctor/chiropractor? ( pretty sure that’s spelled wrong).  There’s also this tiny part of my mind that says “well, what if it is the sign of something worse???” I am 99.99% sure it’s stress related.

What would YOU do?

DF and I have just spent a week away, in our home town. Where we lazed around, watched far too many movies, slept (me, anyway) and made amends with a school friend whom we haven’t spoken to in about a year.

He’s just proposed to his girlfriend-one of my friends since primary school- and the announcement was in the paper when we were there. It is an exciting time for them.

But I cannot help but have the Green-Eyed-Monster come out, raging and ranting. DF and I are still not “officially” engaged yet- ie: no one in our families know of our engagement. I have been feeling as though he dosen’t want to marry me. Is it something I have done? Is it because he knows I have lost  pregnancy to miscarriage? Is it because I am too pushy? Maybe he’s scared?

He keeps saying it’s because he dosen’t have the money. And yet, I hear “I am going to get ‘x’ for my car” “I want this video game” “I just brought…”

I KNOW that I don’t hear it often, but I know in my heart that the money is an issue. I KNOW he loves me, but there is that part of me that is scared he dosen’t…

We’ve also just recieved news that we have been “approved” for a new house. We’re only renting at the moment, and with the market so competetive, it was a relief to get the place.

It’s lovely and new, with an ensuite and walk-in-robe in our bedroom, a lovely HUGE kitchen and a gorgeous paved courtyard. It’s costing us a little more than what we’re paying in our current house, but it is worth it. We’re beginning the move Saturday I think. It will be great to have a place that is just ours, even if it is just for a little while 🙂

So , there’s been quite a bit going on. I have my first exam tomorrow. I am hoping it will go ok. But at the moment, I really don’t care if I pass or not. Even though I think I will!

Everything will work out ok.

I just need this semester to end. I have never been so exhausted in my life. Excluding my pregnancies.

A friend of mine pointed out to me that mental exhaustion can be worse than physical. I think she’s right. Today anyway.

Deepdreamer

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