Oooohhh, look, something shiny!

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, the whole “you can’t have a baby” thing I am trying my hardest NOT to focus on.

Skip on over to this wonderful fellow loss-mummy (http://mommyodyssey.wordpress.com/ ) She blogs about the good, the bad, the ugly about miscarriage, and currently, the pros and cons ( in reality) of TTC again. In many of her potsts, she describes to us, in amusing detail, the interior monologue that goes on in her brain about TCC.

I’ve decided to take a leaf from her book, and give you “lucky” readers an insight into what goes through my mind each and every day.

Me: “I want a baby!”

Practical Me: “You can’t have a baby.”

Me:”Why???? I just want one! Now! NOW!!!!”

Practical Me: “Because you haven’t even finished uni yet.”

Me: “But I know heaps of people who are studying while bring up baby.”

Practical Me: ” And look at how badly they’re all doing! You’re only just scraping through with good enough grades, and that’s without a baby!”

Me:” Ohhh, but they’re so cute, and amazing, and if we have a baby, I can raise it and not make the same mistakes my mother did! Oh, and it’ll be cute!”

Practical Me: “And they cry, and poo, and eat, and cost money we don’t have. And, you like to sleep. You LOVE to sleep. And they grow. AND THEY COST MONEY YOU DO NOT HAVE!!”

Me: “But, I want a chance to prove I CAN carry a baby, and not just continue to miscarry.”

Practical Me: “You don’t want to get hurt again, and again, and again if you CAN’T get pregnant and/or stay pregnant.”

Me: “But that’s what fertility treatments are for!”

Practical me: “Your insurance doesn’t cover you yet. And it costs MONEY- and it hurts, and it’s not that easy.”

Me: “oohhh, but they’re cute!”

Practical Me: *facepalm*

Practical Me: “When you, and your partner are both working full time, you have a house you OWN, have a decent amount of money in the bank, and when you have some teaching experience under your belt, THEN we can have this conversation about having a baby. Because, when you have money, you can give up full time work, and THEN become a bloody earth mother, barefoot and pregnant with your own freakin’ veggie garden and chickens, and all the time in the world to raise a baby. Until then- DROP IT!!!!!!!!!!”

Me: “…baby??”

Practical Me: “NOT YET!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So every day is a struggle of this. But I know, in my heart, the pracitcal me is right.

It just sucks having to wait to get the baby-me to be quiet.

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