Facebook is an amazing thing. For a long time after my first miscarriage, I felt as though I was lost, alone.

Then, gradually, I was introduced to more and more support and memorial sites on FB.

It started out as great support. I was free to talk about my baby all I wanted, I met other people on the same journey as me. Then, as the support groups ( all not for profit) became more and more, the “support” lessened, and the “likes” began.

I have only managed to find a couple of sites where the emphais is providing support, and not on how many people “like” the group, or how many people have donated to it, or spreading awareness of each individual group so that someone can be supported by “x” group as opposed to “y” group, because they do a “better” job of providing thier serivices.

It is not about numbers or money. It is about heart.

I’ve struggled with providing information to parents following a loss, as I do not want to direct them somewhere where they are just a number, or after a while, they’re asked to donate money.

There are only a handful of sites I direct people to now, and I have never, ever been asked to donate money, or to tell as many people as possible about the grief support site.

If you’re an active member of a grief support group, or the founder of one- remember support should come from the heart. There are many ways in which you can do this without having to ask for money or advertising.  It is just about thinking outside the square.

I know of a group that essentially runs itself- where parents talk to each other when they need it-and it did not cost anything. Except passion and love that drove it.

Support groups should be about heart, not numbers.