I was driving to work today, with a thought. I am busting my ass to keep this job, constantly trying to appear positive and enthusiatic about my workplace.

It got me thinking about the reality of my life- I am constanly, continuously trying to appear as though “everything is great,guys!”. This attitude got me through a number of  very tough times in  my life througout my teenage years. I’ve blogged about these previously. This attitude got me through both of my miscarriages. It got me through a very mentally and emotionally challenging final semester of my university studies.

This attitude gets me through life. Feeling black on the inside, and yet to anyone on the outside, I am a freakin’ ball of positivity and light.

Hell, some would say I shit rainbows!

Some days, I just want to drop this attitude.

It’s exhausting.