Well, I have the concentration span of one right now.

It is amazingly frustrating! I find myself getting up to do something, and then getting distracted entirely and forgetting what I am doing. I can’t concentrate on the books I am reading, on any TV I watch, on household chores.

I can’t decide if it is because I am slowly letting a bout of depression take over, or if it is because I am bored out of my brain not working. I’d say it is a combination of the two. Since the beginning of this term, I have picked up a handful of days substitute teaching. The days I have been teaching, I have felt amazing, gotten out of bed with a sense of purpose, and throughly enjoyed my day with the students. I never thought I’d be a person who defined herself by her job, but when I was able to say “I am a teacher, working at a school”, it felt good. It gave me puropse. So without that reason to get out of bed, and the constant stream of rejection emails, I am beginning to doubt my abilities as a teacher, and as a person. I know in my heart that this is insane, but it still doesn’t stop the little voice in my head saying” Clearly, you’re a crap teacher and no one wants you!”.

I don’t know how much more of this I can take before I throw my hands in the air and give up.